Book Review: Parenting (1)

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The Happiest Kids in the World
By: Rina Mae Acosta & Michelle Hutchison

Recommend or not, to whom, for what reason:
Yes. Recommend to parents (Particularly Mothers). To increase awareness and broaden understanding of different ways to do parent and to view the privilege of parenting. 

3 Things of Interest:
1. This book has provoked reflections on my own upbringing, how it influences the current parenting style we use in our home, and how society is influencing parenting anxieties in the US, Britain, and Holland. As these influences have been brought to light its has provided opportunity to determine if those influences will be aloud to persist or be dismissed. We don't know what we don't know, but once we do we can make better decisions
2. When we realize every human (whether from wealth or poverty, this culture or that) has the same basic needs, parenting becomes rather simple and straight forward. Not easy, but simple. "Mom-guilt" loosens its grip, and so can the parents.
3. We all seem to want what we don't have. This is a book of written interviews, experiences, and reflections from two ladies from the USA and Britain finding they love learning and embracing what Holland seems to have always known. In the reverse, Hollanders are surprised at their enthusiasm for the Dutch way of parenting and how improved they feel it is from their own childhood societies because in Holland the US is considered the gold standard in most respects. Maybe our own opinions aren't the best judge of these things, and research proves valuable to provide that more objective observation.
Bonus: Note to self: Look into biking more as a main life skill and form of transportation. 

3 points of disagreement:
1. I was so shocked (being a sheltered individual) by the Dutch approach to learning about sexuality. Refreshed in many ways! I appreciated the openness in conversation about it. That sexuality and sexual organs were talked of with their proper terms in a very normalized way. I still believe sexual activity is to be saved for marriage, where the Dutch culture seems to have a much different approach. Coming from a place where it probably wasn't talked about enough, to reading of a culture where it is overly embraced in my opinion, has given some opportunity to reflect and find what seems best to implement in your own family culture.
2. Children seem to be encouraged to create relationships outside the home independent of parents much sooner than I would think. As young as 4 years old is very common. This is normal in many places not just Holland, and is perhaps set up even better in Holland for the healthy socialization and development of children. I still feel more time in a loving home environment is better for young children.
3. I was interested and agreed with more things than I disagreed with.

1 Take-away or application:
My children need from me these things:
* Love Me for Me
* Believe in Me
* Help Me to do it Myself

Is this a classic for the personal library?
No. Tho I really enjoyed the book, and am happy to have read it once. Excellent learning lessons these ladies have had, and I'm very grateful they have shared their experience. It's confirmed some of my own hypothesis and understandings through my own experience. It's not a book I will revisit over and over, thus it will not be in my personal library.

Unfiltered notes:

Dutch Parenting

- Avoid the Word "No"

- Breakfast & Dinner as a family

- "Teach me to do it myself"

- Family Vacations (3 per year)

- Biking Everywhere

- Positive Encouragement

- Encouraged to Speak their Mind

- Family Council, Family Decisions

- Discuss Consequences of Actions

- Trust Them

- Simple Minimal Rules

     *No TV and Friends during school time.

- Don't fix everything. Listen, support, believe in them.

- Independent play through the neighborhood starting at age 4

Important attributes of children

- Self Reliant

- Responsible

(Ex. organize own play dates)

- Strong voice and speak up for what they think

- Social

---Teenage Room Rules---

- No clothes in the floor

- Put dirty clothes in laundry at least 1 x a week

- Keep the door closed so parents don't have to see the mess

- Hang up wet towels to dry

- No dirty dishes in bedroom

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